When your ex starts playing rough ...

A few days went by and I got a letter (addressed to "Mr D Humes Mr D Hume") dated 11th February, demanding £9.78.  John Cox - from Pipex Credit Control - warned me if I didn't pay in 6 days my service would be suspended.  John asked me to call him on an 0871 number to talk about it with a 'dedicated customer service representative', but I didn't want to waste more money on expensive telephone calls.  If my old ISP were threatening to cut off an Internet service - which they hadn't been providing for over a month - I thought I'd leave it.  A clean break's best at the end of a relationship and writing to you a month after it's over begging for money seemed a bit pathetic.  They'd probably be embarrassed if I called them.  A few days later I got another letter from John dated 17th February.  This was also addressed to the conjoined twins "Mr D Humes Mr D Hume".  Now he was getting desperate.  He made another empty threat to disconnect me if I didn't pay in 10 days.  'Honey I'm over you, I'm with someone else now and they're being good to me' I wanted to say - but didn't fancy paying for an 0871 phone call to do it.  He also mentioned not paying might incur cancellation fees.

Next I had a letter dated 26th February from Audrey Devenney at Pipex Customer Relations.  She was replying to the letter I'd sent (my name and address were correct, and they'd even added the title doctor, which I don't usually use).  Audrey apologised for; any inconvenience I'd experienced during our break up, if 'I felt' they'd failed in their customer service, and she could see from my account details an engineer was requested and apologised they never came.  She said she'd tried calling me - although didn't explain why she hadn't left a voicemail or how my phone hadn't logged the call.  She claimed according to their records my account appeared to be active, and they needed a copy of my 'go-live letter' or first bill from my new ISP to update them.  Once this was done, Audrey added, she'd be able to investigate any refunds due.  She also claimed I had to reorder a MAC code 'cos the first one expired on the 10th January.  She was wrong for 2 reasons.  I tried to use it before the 10th and it shouldn't have expired 'til the 18th anyway.

I'd moved on by this time and figured I'd get around to writing to Audrey when I could.  Errors Pipex had made weren't my main concern in life, and besides my 'go-live letter' had account details for my new ISP including password information I didn't want to pass onto Pipex for fear of the havoc their incompetence could unleash.  And I didn't have a paper bill because my new ISP is free.

I only realised how messed up my (Pip)ex was a month later when I received a letter dated 23rd March from Commercial Credit Services - a debt collecting company.  Pipex was getting her own back in crazy 'stalker-esque' fashion  by telling her friends I owed her money.  The letter threatened legal proceedings and claimed they'd add court fees and solicitors costs to my bill.  They wanted £9.78 immediately, but if I didn't pay would take me to court for £89.84!  They also warned this could affect my future credit rating and mortgage applications.  Pretty tough talk for £9.78 I didn't owe.

So I called Commercial Credit Services, in Bromsgrove, on yet another 0871 number and spoke to Lucy.  I explained not only did I not owe Pipex any money, they owed me.  She asked me to write to them again and to copy the letter to her at Commercial Credit Services, which I did.

I felt a bit embarrassed my ex had dragged Lucy into our sad break up story, but in this letter I explained the whole thing  and encouraged Pipex to communicate directly with my new ISP.  I enclosed their name, address and another letter giving my new ISP free reign to tell them when I switched services.  I added "I strongly urge you to contact them directly yourselves, not only to clarify the errors made in the handing over of my account, but also because they may be able to assist your company with hints and tips on how to improve your customer service".  I also asked for any further communication to be done by staff empowered to negotiate with me - preferably a single named contact - rather than automated billing messages or letters from third parties threatening legal action.  I implored, "I’m polite and won’t raise my voice or lose my temper ... I’m available via mobile most evenings and weekends.  Otherwise it tends to be switched off as I’m employed in a busy hospital environment, although you may catch me outside of the hospital Wednesday or Thursday afternoons after 2pm.  If you leave a message I will respond promptly ... if given a telephone number with a normal UK landline prefix as I’m not prepared to spend more money on phone bills to 0871 call centres".

I haven't heard from Lucy or Commercial Credit Services since and I doubt I will, because the next day I phoned my new ISP (for free) and asked them if I could get a copy of my first invoice proving the date I switched providers.  They explained how to download a printable copy from their website, for free.  The bill was obviously for nothing as they provide my Internet service for free, but it gave my starting date with them as 8th January 2009.  Well before Pipex claimed I owed anything.  I quickly drafted another letter to Audrey and Commercial Credit Services with copies of this statement attached.